A Brief Trip Behind the Rust Curtain

View of Monessen PA 

We’ve just returned from a short weekend adventure in Monessen PA, our son’s temporary home.  John and I were looking forward to the trip and the visit, as we traveled somewhat familiar roads behind the corncob curtain and beyond.  Neither of us had driven this route since our grad school days and not further east Columbus Ohio.  We talked about taking a quick jaunt north to see our alma mater one last time until we hit grid-lock on I-70 near I-71.  That pretty much killed our wistful nostalgia buzz as we crawled along the highway wondering why ODOT never improved this highway bottleneck.  I have to give kudos to INDOT for doing a much better job with a similar crossroads in India-no place. 

Once we were out of the greater metropolitan area, we were zipping along eastbound enjoying the views.  We stopped for gas in one city and recalling that I once had a great uncle living there, I looked around the “gas and go” at people and wondered if any might be part of my gene pool.  “shudders”.   Still, the ride was mostly enjoyable with farmland, grazing cattle/sheep, gently rolling hills, straight and wide lanes on the interstate.  Then we crossed the state line and suddenly I knew that the border signified more than just a change in the speed limit. 

For about 10 miles we traveled through northern West Virginia.  The hills were steeper and the traffic was heavier.  Not too surprising since we were travelling near Wheeling.  What was surprising was seeing that coke processing continues, as evidenced by the noticeable brown cloud that hung over the Ohio River valley.  We experienced that old familiar look and smell we remembered from living in cities where steel production was king, but a bit more dramatically given its concentration in the river valley.

We crossed the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial Bridge, entering western Pennsylvania.  Several instant images flooded my brain:  the interstate is 4-lane and in little hope of ever widening; there are homes and tree tops right next to the highway in some places; people come to a dead stop on the ramps entering the freeway because there is no “mini-launch” ramp for them to get up to speed; the lanes are narrow; the state seems densely populated compared to Ohio, but it really isn’t until you reach Pittsburgh.    What happened to those gently rolling hills and farmlands of Ohio just 10 miles west? 

Our destination was a small town on the Monongahela River, a former steel town.  The first thought I had was that we had arrived on the set of “The Deer Hunter”.  In fact, the movie was filmed in several locations in the area!  As if the streets, the rusted steel mill, and the onion-domed church weren’t enough to complete that image, there were several dead deer on the highways.  Made me wonder why Robert De Niro and his buddies had to drive up into the mountains to hunt for deer, when it was pretty obvious that you could bag one easily by just driving down PA 906 or I-70.  “Deer Hunter” became our signal for dead deer for the rest of our mini-trip. 

Topographically, Monessen was different from places I’ve been.  The hills and the curve of the river contributed to winding streets where you might be driving NW, then north then east without turning a corner.  The steep grades were out of my recent driving history and I was glad I wasn’t driving our 5-speed Nissan, else I would have ended up in the river. 

So we were in search of a place for lunch in Monessen.  However, we quickly discovered that just about everything was closed, even though business hours that included Saturdays were posted.  As I drove around I saw only a few places that were open:  Subway, the pawn shop, and (my favorite), the drive-through beer distribution center!  I swear, this place looked more like a Quonset hut car-wash and all I could wonder is whether the seller also applies Windex one’s windshield during the stop.   We learned that distributors sell by the case or keg.  Six-packs and 12-packs are not sold anywhere.  We could buy beer with dinner at a restaurant or pizza joint.  So, in PA one can really get one’s “drunk on” by merely driving in and pointing to the desired brew and never leaving the car!  I also wondered if the distributors offered munchies or other retail “add-ons”. 

In closing, I’ve been writing a lot about some of the oddities about my life behind the corncob curtain.  Well, slap me silly, there are probably keg-loads more behind the rust curtain that are un-tapped, plus plenty of deer to bag!  Who knew?